13th
Attachment Parenting Saved My Son’s Life
It was a night like most other nights. Hilary and I slept, grateful to have a few hours of rest. After four months of half-empty nights as new parents, we were finally beginning to have some half-full ones. Caspian slumbered in the crook of Hilary’s arm on the bed, unaware of concepts such as “parenting techniques.” All he cared about was being with his mother.
Early in the morning, Hilary awoke—something had changed. It only took her a split second to realize what it was: Caspian wasn’t breathing! Our tiny baby was clawing at his throat and shaking all over, and his eyes were rolling back. Hilary recognized the signs of a seizure so she grabbed him, woke me up, and called 911. As Hilary held Caspian and tried to soothe him while he shook, I looked into his eyes and saw only terror. He was able to get a few breaths here and there, but they weren’t consistent, and being only four months old, he didn’t understand what was happening. Praise the Lord he was sleeping next to Hilary, because we wouldn’t have heard him not breathing through a baby monitor.
Finally the ambulance arrived and whisked us away (Hilary and Caspian rode in the ambulance, while I followed in the car). Thankfully, Caspian’s seizing stopped soon thereafter and we learned that he had experienced what is called a “febrile seizure,” which is a seizure caused by a high fever. The ER nurse shocked us when she said Caspian would have died and been considered a victim of SIDS if we hadn’t woken up and gotten him treatment when we did.
We praise the Lord that Caspian was right beside us when he had his febrile seizure…but why was he there instead of down the hall in a crib? He was with us that night because he sleeps with us every night, since he was three weeks old. We are believers in “attachment parenting,” which for us involves co-sleeping.
“Attachment parenting” is a label that was first used by Dr. William Sears, although the practice includes concepts that have been practiced for millennia. The basic idea is that infants have a tendency to seek closeness to caregivers, and they feel most secure when caregivers are present. By fostering this close attachment while they are young children, then they are more easily able to form healthy relationships when they become adults. Most parents who practice attachment parenting do so using practices like co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and baby wearing. All practices may not be right for every family, but most modern parents are simply unaware of the options available to them, as we were. We hadn’t decided against co-sleeping for the first three weeks of Caspian’s life, we simply had never thought of doing it. (This is ironic, since solitary infant sleep is a relatively new concept.)
Numerous studies also show the benefits of attachment parenting and co-sleeping. More and more research is showing that these children develop more self-confidence, higher self-esteem, less anxiety, and a better ability to handle stress when they become adults. Studies specifically of co-sleeping indicate that it’s actually twice as safe as leaving babies to sleep alone in another room. (Incidentally, co-sleeping is widely practiced in non-western countries, where SIDS is almost unheard of.)
But one of the things I love most about attachment parenting is that I get to wake up next to my little boy every Saturday morning. Waking up to his precious little face next to me on my pillow is a treasure of inestimable worth.
If you’re interested in learning more:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/mckenna.html
http://www.attachmentparenting.org
